Relationship Issues

Introduction to Anxious attachment and co-dependency

A persons ‘attachment style’ refers to the particular way in which they tend to relate to other people:

Are you among the countless individuals who have ever felt an:

* overwhelming fear of abandonment, a need for constant reassurance

* or the inability to break free from a relationship that you know is toxic?

* Are you yearning for love and connection with a passion that borders on obsession

* or are you one of those who give more of yourself to others – often at the expense of your own mental or physical well-being?

You can rest assured that these emotional patterns of anxious attachment and co-dependency are by no means uncommon or even unchangeable.

In therapy you’ll discover how to:

*Identify anxious attachment and co-dependency through stories and relatable examples to help you recognize the signs and symptoms of these patterns and how they relate to your own life.

*Understand the root cause of both anxious attachment and co-dependency as we delve into your childhood and other relationships. By understanding the root cause, you gain the power to heal.

*Cultivate self-compassion as you go on a journey towards both self-acceptance and self-love. One of the key things you’ll learn is that nurturing your own well-being is not selfish, but necessary to form and maintain healthy relationships.

*Set healthy boundaries to help you protect and maintain your emotional and mental health while fostering meaningful connections with your friends and loved ones.

*Tackle your anxious attachment head-on with tools like:

* *  CBT techniques
* *  daily affirmations
* *  guided meditation

to learn actionable steps to permanently change your behaviour and create the relationship you want and deserve.

Adapted from The Anxious Heart: A Practical Guide to Overcoming Anxious Attachment Using CBT, Schema Therapy & More (2023) by Shannon Yates

Introduction to an anxious attachment

We are talking specifically about that unsettling feeling we get in a relationship sometimes where we have to fight against the voices in our head telling us that our partner is going to up and leave at any minute. This is pretty normal, but for people with anxious attachment or another unhealthy attachment style, it is an overriding fear that completely consumes them and is likely on their mind every minute of the day. So, what is an insecure attachment? And why are some more prone to it than others?

To understand what insecure attachments entail, let’s take a quick look at the most common signs and symptoms of those who suffer from anxious attachment:

  • A deep fear of abandonment
  • Need for constant reassurance that all is well and that they are loved
  • Strong desire for intimacy – more than others
  • Doubts that relationships will work out
  • Difficulty trusting others
  • Often seen as clingy or needy in all relationships
  1. Attachment Theory (
  2. Assessment: these surveys are designed to measure your attachment style – the way you relate to others in the context of close relationships (
  3. Anxious (Preoccupied) Style
  4. Avoidant Style
  5. Learning our attachment styles
  6. How different Attachment Styles play out in relationships
  7. One Way Your Partner Can Calm Your Attachment Anxiety
    (Great Good Magazine)